Set the good habit for children from setting up bedtime routine

My husband likes to play with children after dinner, I disagree, because he holds them all up and delay to go to bed after 10pm. My housework also delayed because of that. What should I do? I can’t fight with them alone. But I really want my children to set a good habit for sleep.



My mother taught me and my siblings for ages that our bodies have a natural body rhythm and gets used to a certain routine. If we wake up at the same time every day, our body learns when to wake up and will not need an alarm. Also our bodies will be in a state of alert because it “knows” it is wake up time. That is why, if you sleep in, you feel groggy even though you had extra sleep because your body is not aware it is “awake” time. Physiologically our bodies will get tired at the same time every night and become prepared for sleep.



When I was a teen, I was always alert and couldn’t fall asleep if there was sports event, outdoor activity such as school picnic on the following day. Because I was used to get up at the same time every morning without alarm, but suddenly change the schedule to get up earlier for the particular event.

I wasn’t that lucky to have bedtime stories, simply because my mum is not that type of mums like sharing news or giving a hug before we sleep, she is too tired to look after a big family and give fair attention to each of the family member. Because of that, I like to tell stories and hug babies, something I wanted to have but missed.



But overall my mum has done a good job overall. We had regular and consistent wake up time, bed time, meal time and study time, that something I want to carry on for my own family. Consistency will ensure tranquillity in your home because it will be easier for children to fall asleep and it will also ensure children get enough sleep every night.

Fostering a teenager

A couple of months ago, I had the chance to talk to the homeless youth as a volunteer. I can’t held weeping when I was listening to them about their lives, how, who and what brought them up to what they are now.

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After that, I persuaded my husband to stretch our family to just one more. We contacted an organisation nearby and met with the officers there to find out more about fostering. However, what they told us is not what we expect to hear or not what could imagine about offering foster care.
They told us those young people who are in need of foster care have often experienced emotional upheaval. Therefore foster carer’s need to be patient, perceptive, flexible, resourceful and able to set firm boundaries in order to help young people placed in their care.
We are overall qualified couple to offer foster care, we really want personal rewards by setting up a good example for having a positive impact on a young person’s life.

Fostering teenagers involves quite different skills to that of fostering younger children. Due to their age, teenagers are often more firmly established in their ways of behaving, and are consequently less adaptable than young children. They are also approaching a time in their lives when they are learning to develop their independence and therefore require more support and less direct supervision.The couple was also told to expect that the teenager’s biological parents will come over to knock at their door to look for their own children at anytime as they wish even though there are guidelines, but no one know how would their natural family react to someone who keep their children from them. As foster carers, they have to keep in mind that the majority of young people have formed strong bonds with their natural family. It is important to refrain from criticising their natural family.

We only thought of rewarding a few years later after we have saved and brought up or helped a teenager, but it actually can be challenging to provide a stable and secure environment for a young person to grow and develop physically and emotionally.

We should not remove the possibility of influence they might have from their biological parents and peer groups in their past since they were born. We cannot know enough how many sub-personalities have affected their perception of life.



From our point of view we only think of providing young people with a safe and nurturing environment in order to meet their individual needs. We want to be their mentors and friends to guide them through from adolescents to adulthood.
Instead of persuading us to become foster parents, we were told not to because we are not prepared to code with the possible difficulties or challenges of fostering teenagers. They told us there are many reasons why young people are not able to live with their own parents. This may include family breakdown, parent’s drug and alcohol problems, abuse and neglect, physical and mental illness and breakdown in relationships between teenagers and their parents who may be having difficulty coping with the young person’s behaviour.
Fostering teenagers involves quite different skills to that of fostering younger children. Due to their age, teenagers are often more firmly established in their ways of behaving, and are consequently less adaptable than young children. They are also approaching a time in their lives when they are learning to develop their independence and therefore require more support and less direct supervision.

We may expect their biological parents come over to knock at our door to look for their children from our home at anytime as they wish even though there are guidelines, but we never how would their natural family react to someone who keep their children from them. As foster carers, we have to keep in mind that the majority of young people have formed strong bonds with their natural family. It is important to refrain from criticising their natural family.
One more important point we have ever thought about is we need to attend training for a few months before we would be allowed to become foster carers and take the foster child home.
Approved foster carers can expect to receive personal rewards for having a positive impact on a young people’s life and develop a close relationship with the young people which may last throughout their life. If it is something you value to contribute to the society, you may go ahead for fostering a teenager.